Living Full stop
by everything.would.be.nonsense
Summary: Dominik... dead! Slywia feels herself falling into a depression she's never felt before one that might finally push her over the edge. Bleeding, quietly living... or... Living,quietly bleeding. Why not just live, full stop?


This is a Suicide room fic.. that movie was one of the BEST I have ever seen. If you are going through anything please don't commit suicide the world needs you, it just doesn't know it yet.

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My hands moved on their own I barely recognized the popping sound as I ripped the power cord out of the wall socket. Dead? No not Dominik please God not Dominik. I sat in the midst of my room, I felt the walls closing in on me and my breath come in and out in heaves. I needed to get out, I had to breathe. I shot up knocking over piles of plates and take out dinners. Where's the door?!

I peered through the darkness of the room and cloudiness of the tears streaming down my face. I grasped for the door hidden underneath the garbage. The handle was rusty and old the key nearly broke off in my hand. I flung open the door, much to the surprise of my parents who stared at me like some monster from the marsh. I glanced at them, I had nearly forgotten them. I ran so they couldn't see my face, I'm not the person they once knew. I ran blindly old memories kicking in the door was to the left! I ran as fast as I could as quick as my racing heart would let me. The cold wind stung my face and I couldn't help but shiver. It was never this cold out, was it? The wind picked up a blew through my pink hair although it couldn't possibly get any messier. My lungs we're on fire when I reached the place.

My place. The one constant thing in this constantly changing world, my little medow. I used to come here as a child, a teen, all the time. The flowers were my friends, while the world was my enemy. It is beautiful, just the same as I remembered it. But the flowers seem to shun me now, to spite me for betraying them finding new friends, finding knives. They don't comfort me like they used to like Dominik did. Did. Past tense. My legs went down, I couldn't stand anymore whether it was from running or from grief I won't know. All I do know is that he's not coming back and it's my fault. Mine and mine alone. I couldn't help it but the sky was blue, I stopped crying for a minute just to look at it, and the white clouds and everything. It was just like what Dominik said, like he promised it would be! Why wasn't he here like he promised though? Why isn't he…. Alive.

The sorrow washed over me again like tidal waves crashing one after the other leaving me no time to catch my breath, it was drowning me and I deserved to die. This time I should die, this time I have a reason to I killed someone. I killed Dominik and for that I should rot in hell. Dominik. My throat felt suddenly hoarse, and my ears were swimming with a noise that chilled me to my bone. It was me. I was screaming so loud the air around me shuddered. I couldn't stop, I couldn't close my mouth. I knew people would come soon but I couldn't stop. I put my face in my hands to muffle the noise but they were wet. With clear droplets… tears, my tears. I haven't cried since…. Since the first time I cut so, so long ago. 'Why waste your tears, crying over things. Letting tears fall is for the weak, holding them in is harder' I used to tell myself. But now, I'm crying over him not the stupid words they used to call me at school, or what they said and posted about me. I'm crying over him because I know he wanted to be here with me to talk face to face in real life not just a game.

The noise quieted, ad my body seemed to collapse in on itself. 'But isn't that just it life's a game' I thought bitter as the wind. It seemed to be getting colder by the minute. I felt drops of water on my skin, I looked up into the sky as the white fell down. Snow? I laughed even though my throat ached, I laughed and got up from the ground even though my legs couldn't take anymore. I span around and danced through the snow as it came down harder and harder. But I didn't care I could see angels in the snow, purity, white. No more demons, adulteration, no more bleeding red. It was all gone whipped away in a blanket of white. I collapsed on the ground again out of breath. Actually I could barely breath I was laughing too hard. It was almost as if I could hear him laughing too. But it sounded too real, too there. But how? I shivered badly in the snow and the laughing stopped I heard his voice again concerned 'Are you cold?' it asked. I couldn't answer my mouth was numb, so was my body. I'm dying? I should be glad right I have always wanted to experience it… dying but for the first time I had a twinge of regret, wanting to stay. But with who? Dominik's not here he's over there on the other side. So shouldn't I want to leave? I opened my eyes again and took another look at the meadow. Yes it was beautiful but not as beautiful as what Dominik and I had. I closed my eyes again and felt myself grow cold… but not drift away like I imagined. I waited and waited but nothing changed I actually got warmer after awhile. What? I shot up quick, dread building in the pit of my stomach. What if someone saved me? Why can't people just let me die! "Sylvia, you know you could have just waited to see me again"

I looked around the place was golden like clouds during a sunset. Except this was like no sunset I have ever seen. "dominik?" and there he was smiling of all things. Through all things he was smiling. I through my self into his arms. He was there real! But how? I giggled against my own understanding. Of course he's in heaven but how am I?

"You're not" he answered, "It's not your time yet and I'll personally come down there kill you if you even think about hurting yourself in anyway. I didn't die for nothing!" he said grinning as he let me go and the cold came rushing back as the last brush of his fingers left my own skin. "Dominik!" I cried although I didn't know why. He faded into the gold and I opened my eyes with a gasp at the white. I was still in the meadow still in the snow.

I smiled even as the tears travelled down my face. It really is hard to die isn't it? Fine then I'll live, just because you asked, so politely Dominik. I just wished I had done so sooner. So we could live… together.

No longer bleeding, nor quietly living. I'm living, full stop.


End file.
